By: Mike James
June 1, 2008
The Latest:
Hola! Welcome to The Hollywood Holla, my way of sending word and opinion to all those who no longer am able to receive it on a regular basis and to those who I just think are cool people. I figured a good way to stay in touch was to send out a massive email to my posse once a week or so. If for some reason I completely over estimated your coolness and you do not want to receive any emails then first off, screw you and second we don’t want you anyway.
Next, I just went down the list on facebook getting people’s emails and I know I missed a bunch of people that might for some crazy reason want to electronically converse then please forward them this email or send me theirs.
All righty. I hope this message finds everyone well. Things in the last week and a half, two weeks have been crazy, to put it mildly. I have however settled in despite the roller coaster of a couple weeks it’s been.
The trip out here was long and anxiety ridden. To start with my iPod mysteriously died as I was pulling out of the drive in Franklin. An initial indicator it would be a long trip. But after covering 1,700 miles in 24 hours it didn't really matter that my iPod was broke because I was hearing voices in my head. My dad and I arrived Tuesday before last (a day early). Moving in was fast and furious. Javier and Fernando, were too Mexican gentleman that I hired to help me move in when I got here. They were insane. Really like wow.
Got cable, Internet all that jazz real soon and landed a PA job! It was with an outfit called Synthetic Studios. The project manager said it was super low budget and would only pay 100 bones. I didn’t care; I was so stoked to have something lined up so soon I jumped at it.
A dude I met at the shoot said he went a month and a half with no work before he did one job and has been booked 6 days a week for the last 4 months. It's definitely a game out here and whatever I thought I knew last summer has been thrown out the door with my busted iPod.
I had a blast the first day on the set. It was hard, dirty, thankless, extremely unglamorous work and it was exactly what I was wanting. One of the producers asked me how long I had been a PA at the end of the day. I said this was my first paying shoot I had ever been on. He said he thought I been at it a few years. I told him I actually just graduated from college a few days ago. I wasn't even unpacked. He said I had brass balls and probably wouldn't have to worry about getting enough PA work.
Well he as it would turn out I’m not so sure he was right. I had an appointment lined up on Tuesday to see Act 1 personnel. The whole reason I thought I had a job out there. I came in and the lady gave me an application. I told her I had already been hired there.
“Really? Strange. Well let’s give the computer a look now……………(typing and nodding head in a insanely frustrating repetitive motion while chewing gum).
Yea, it seems we do have you in here Lisa will be with you in a moment.”
I sigh a slight breath of relief.
“Come on over Mike.”
Small talk exchanges about the weather and what not.
“So I went by my bank and they gave me this paper that I’m supposed to give to you so I can get my direct deposit set-up” I said with the confidence of someone who is about to start receiving a paycheck.
“Yea, we usually just use a voided check.”
“Oh, well that works. I have one.”
“Ok, good! So is that all you needed today?”
“Um…..No? I mean. I thought….Weren’t you…..?”
“Well I have your resume” Lisa said with a snap and an attitude that carried the stinging pain of a kidney shot.
“I was under the impression that I was hired and you were going to tell me where I was going to start. I was told you had a job for me and to just come in. So I came in.”
“Entertainment business is a little slow right now. You would have better luck trying to get work on your own.”
She delivered this earth shattering news with the same indifference a server would inform a patron that the prime rib has been removed from the Saturday night special menu.
I wasn’t sure what to do. It was quite awkward really. A de-pantsing of colossal proportions.
“You do realize I graduating from college a few days ago. I moved my entire life out here based on the knowledge that you had a job for me. One that would provide some sort of income.”
She stared blankly. Unaffected.
“You do realize that this puts me in a little bit of a bind.”
Her manager then piped up and joined in on the fun.
“We are anticipating an actor’s strike. If the SAG strikes there will be no production work anywhere for anyone. We are only placing jobs in the corporate sector. If you are interesting in a corporate position there is an application over there.”
It was sitting next to the application I was handed earlier, the same one that they accepted in March.
“Well thanks. I think I’ll take it from here.”
I got up and I walked out. I walked to my car and put on the tie I had taken off right before I walked in, in a battle of indecision. I put the tie on all the way, neatly. Then I tore it off with brutal passion and scorching rage. Nothing accentuates the end of employment or the lack of a beginning of that employment like tearing a tie off.
I picked my tie up and gently placed in the passenger’s seat. Plan B was now to begin. So I went to Venice. After visiting several medical centers looking for the perfect cure for my condition I passed out in the grass under a tree, next to a drum circle.
I observed all the bums and beggars. I watched their technique. I took careful note of every mannerism and maneuver. I discovered it doesn’t take too much to be a bum. And being completely honest with your sign like “NEED MONEY FOR WEED” or “WILL GIVE HJ FOR CRACK” doesn’t really help. Compared to the one that says “Smiles, hugs, rainbows and happy thoughts. GOD BLESS YOU!” it doesn’t do that much better. Could be a handy fact.
So being a bum didn’t seem like the thing to do so I hit the computer. I hit it for almost two days straight. Bam! I hear from a place called Santa Monica Video. I applied there as a driver and they call me in.
Santa Monica Video is a post-production house doing video format transfer, conversion, duplication and DVD authoring for every major studio on the west side. The interview went great. I nailed it. Got benefits, massage and free acupuncture. Nothing says you’ve made it like the opportunity to be pierced by thousands of needles free of charge!
I start Wednesday so yea; I’m pretty pumped about it.
This place is strange, wild, exciting and terribly frustrating all at the same time. I think I’ll learn much in a very short amount of time but anticipate staying on the path I am on. I have several freelance things up in the air but due to length I’ll mention some of that later.
I hope this email finds everyone well. Like I said I went through facebook and just picked all the people that I pretty much gave a shit about and wanted them to know I wasn’t dead…yet. Universal Studios is on fire and I can see the massive smoke cloud from my fire escape. When the hills of Los Angeles are burning you can bet the rest of the world is next. Even while the whole world goes up in flames I’ll still be laughing. I’ll still have a drink in hand. I’ll still be… a roadman for The Lords of Karma.
Your friend,
MIKE JAMES
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