Death on the streets!...No biggie.

People die horrible deaths all the time. We just don't witness them. Kind of like if a tree falls in the woods, will it fall on the Pope while he's taking a shit?

I don't think that's the correct usage of that saying but nonetheless my point remains the same. My first real memory of grasping the delicate balance between life and death wasn't with a person. It was a pig. The pig's name was Oreo and I loved Oreo very much. 

As the circle of life goes with pigs on the farm it's not that circular at all, much more linear. A sweet little boy who gives the pig jelly beans shouldn't have to understand that concept but it's inevitable. I was told he went to a friend's farm to run and play in their open pastures of sunshine. It actuality he ended up between two slices of bread with some lettuce and a fresh slice of tomato. I was overwhelmed with sadness with I realized what happened to Oreo. So I finished my sandwich of Oreo sadness. Delicious, crunchy and satisfying sandwich of sadness. 

But one moves on and grows up. You go to college. You hit somebody on a dark, foggy night with a car full of booze and underage girls. Then you have to dump the body in the bay and make a promise amongst everyone never to say anything. The next summer you return only to find out that mystery person you killed is now murdering your friends with a fish hook. 

I think that's the plot line to "I Know What You Did Last Summer" but I feel there are some solid life lessons in it. 

My friend called me at work on Friday. 

"Mike I got laid off today and saw somebody die."

"What?! Wait, was it in that order? Are you about to ask for a really big favor?"

"No, actually I watched somebody die this morning. There was a car wreck right outside and they were giving somebody they pulled out CPR for awhile, then stopped."

"Maybe it worked. Maybe you just couldn't see them moving."

"The medic giving CPR stood up, lit a cigarette then started texting."

"Oh, not in a big hurry then eh?"

"Nope. It was pretty ominous. I don't normally see people die so I wasn't real surprised when I got the ax at the end of the day."

"Wow, I'm sorry but we are in a recession buddy. Everybody is losing their job you can't blame it on the home-boy that wished he used his turn signal."

"It's pretty strange though don't you think?"

"No dude, there's war in the streets and war in the Middle East."

"That's a Tupac lyric and doesn't help in anyway."

"You coming over later?"

"Yea."

"Bring beer."

Times are tough. Bamboozlers bamboozle the bamboozable. So you are either a bamboozler or you're gonna get bamboozled. I'm going on unemployment. I plan to bamboozle the bamboozlers.  

I was worried at first about my employment situation, my future, my financial situation and many other worthless stresses that everyone sweats about. It took a couple weeks but I've come to a comforting conclusion that follows the ideology of our heads of state and heads of industry that have vowed to lead us out of this disaster. 

I just said "fuck it".