When Making It Rain Goes Wrong

Pictured above: Future head of the Federal Reserve

I was having a conversation with a friend last night about Pacman Jones, the pro-football player who is not currently on a team. On July 18th he was involved in an incident in a Las Vegas strip club that lead to the shooting of three people.

Watch it here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PDGTom0gZM

The incident was caught on camera and according to ESPN it's very offensive and disturbing. I however found it absolutely hilarious. There are many reasons as to why I find some douche bag, faux-gangsta, out-of-work pro-football player throwing $100,000 dollars on a bunch of strippers and having that act lead to violence funny even though when you put it that way it's not funny at all.

There are several things in this video that I find absolutely ridiculous. First is how nonchalantly he is "making it rain". If there has ever been anyone that makes it seem to be a hassle to have an armful of thousands of dollars this guy does it so better than anyone.

Jones creates a torrential down pour that completely inhibits the hoes from doing their thing. This is where Jermaine Dupri decides to enter his two cents.

The guy that is famous for just appearing in other rappers videos and "makin it rain" all of a sudden appears in this very strip club and hands out a lesson in "makin it rain". Dupri stakes his case as the foremost expert on "makin it rain on hoes" and instructs the hoes to keep dancing and not pick up the thousands of dollars that Jones is throwing about.

We have now reached a fork in the road of strip club etiquette. Is it appropriate to advise another patron on how to make it rain on the hoes or should you keep your tips to yourself? Pacman Jones wasn't looking for tips that night and he responded with bullets. I suppose this incident will go down as a precedent in strip club policy.

This sociopath then beats on one of the strippers because she is too busy scooping up all this money and not dancing. I have always taken the side of strippers but now more than ever I feel we need to rally behind strippers and show them our support.

I don't know if anyone has noticed but we are in a bit of an economic downturn. No jobs. No money. No hope. Somewhere there is a single mother with implants that are sponsored by some cheese ball gold necklace wearing Vegas sleeze bag and she is living the American Dream in it's current state.

She is grinding her fake tits all day on business men that to some degree are probably responsible for her best bet of making a better life is being naked on stage all day.

America, land of the free home of tragic irony.

I would like to see Timothy Geitner try to regulate the amount of "rain" one can "make" in a strip club. I think he would be just as capable at that as he is at balancing out our economy.

Both are frivolous efforts that end in violence so let's give him a shot.

In fact I think Jermaine Dupri and every person making a financial decision in our government is full of fucking shit! I think our Secretary of the Treasury is the foremost authority on "makin' it rain on dem hoes". Pacman Jones is shelling out a measly $100,000 on strippers in Vegas but the Obama Administration is showering the most atrociously corrupt individuals in American history with billions of dollars.

Who really knows how to "make it rain"?

This debacle is certainly uniquely American and would never happen anywhere else in the world. Our entire planet is literally coming apart at the seems. I might have a supremely dark sense of humor in that I find it funny that somebody is willing to kill somebody else over how they shower strippers with money but then again it's nothing new.

George W. Bush tried to make it rain oil. Robert McNamara made it rain napalm. Pacman Jones made it rain in thousands of one dollar bills. You may call me crazy but I feel it all ended in similar outcomes.

With Love & Respect,

Mike James