Granted, this does place the burden of constantly battling the impending failure but this is merely a side effect. My Grandpa would say often "If ya never got out of been in the mornin' then hell you'd never fail at anything!" This is a very wise statement and one that I keep in mind as I write this.
Los Angeles is one cold hard bitch. A rock solid jab to the testicles or vagina region await around every corner. It's unforgiving, unapologetic and unjust. A lot like the world that we live in. As ugly as it can be there is something beautiful in this hobo ridden, smog laden, cess pool of floozies and fly boys.
Tonight I lost my mind at La Brea and Pico. It all built up and I went completely flat...literally.
It starts with this job. I'm on a great show with great people. I however have never done anything close to what I am asked to do for my job. I have never kept track of the amount of stuff I've had to keep track of. I've never had to talk to the amount of people that I have had to talk to. I've never had to juggle as many thing at one time as I've been asked to juggle now. Figuritively juggle of course, asking me to actually juggle would be absurd.
It's gone well or so I thought up until last week. I will just say that I have been giving all that Mike James has to offer (which is quite a bit, I have this blog to prove it) and it's not quite enough. My time there is in question and also in question is my next move if it doesn't work out.
I am am someone who infamously always has a back up plan. Today as I was leaving work I had the feeling of a dead man driving. (thought I would update that cliche for a sec) I remembered that I walked out this morning after throwing up repeatedly over the stress of having my paycheck hanging in the balance over what was in my inbox when I got to work. I saw that I had an almost flat tire. There was nothing I could about it at the time because I couldn't be late. I had to drive on it all the way to Culver City. I felt the tire go flat. Completely flat. Somehow though I got to work.
It's been pretty stressful between constantly wondering if I'm going to get caned, getting my bike stolen this weekend by some soulless hood rat, my undefeated fantasy football record, some blonde that doesn't even deserve the right of me caring that she fucked with my head (but she did anyway) and the fact we are in the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression (thus the worry about losing my job),
So needless to say, I forgot that I drove to work on a flat tire today. I wanted nothing more but to come home, open a beer and finish Monday Night Football. That wasn't going to happen.
I stop at a gas station traveling down Venice. No working air pump. The tire looks bad. Maybe I can just pump it up and it will work? Idiot.
I get as far as La Brea and Pico. The car is no longer drivable and the driver (me) has no business being behind the wheel. I pull up to the side of the gas station and proceed to lose my shit.
Now in print I am admitting that I, Mike James am not invinceable. Los Angeles beat the shit out of me and I had fell into a urine stained wall at a gas station at La Brea and Pico.
Of all the things that I have laughed in the face of that flat tire completely deflated every ounce of strength I had in my body. If this was the Thrilla in Manilla then I was rope-a-doped the fuck out.
I meant what I said about my bike being stolen this weekend. In the same way that I mean everything I say on here. This blog isn't my way of trying to gain attention to myself or win any acclaim for the idiocy I write about. It's an accurate track record of what it's been like. I'm a journalist and I must document my experiences and journeys in an objective, truthful manner.
I about threw the towel in on LA tonight. I didn't though. I rolled up my sleeves. I popped the trunk of my car. I threw all the pointless clutter that was in my car to the ground in a very angry manner and I got out the dough nut tire. I put the car up on the jackand I changed that flat tire.
Nice try LA. I respect your effort but it's going to take much, much more to bring me down. This is with out a doubt a speed bump I'm currently experiencing. I may not be employed a week from now and in that case you can guarantee I'll be rolling with it. I might also still be employed and collecting my weekly pay check. If this is the scenario then you can bet that's what I will be doing.
You see friends, I'm a Road Man. I'm a Road Man for The Lords of Karma. There's not many of us but there was never supposed to be. It's not a burden but it is a commitment. Los Angeles is only but one stop on the tour for me. I'll be needed elsewhere and when that time comes by you know I will be ready to roll. We should all be ready to roll. I'll go first though because it's just not that much fun if it isn't hard to do.
With Love and Respect,
Mike James
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